Confessions

Imagine if you will a picture here of lovely autumn fruit, apples, pear, figs and lemons. I did take a photo to share with you all but the first born took the camera to a friends and it slipped her adolescent mind to bring it back home again. Damn she has been telling me we need another camera, "need?" I reply "I do not think that word means what you think it means." However now I want to use it and I am thinking maybe it is a need after all.

But back to the point of this story. I have a confession. I have lived in this fair city for just over a year now and yesterday I finally made it to my local St Kilda farmers market. I didn't mean to leave it so long it just, you know, happened. But yesterday I snuck out of the house before the house stirred. Oh joy, I found bounds of lovely fruit and veg. I found sausages sizzling and music playing. I visited some new friends selling cake for the local Steiner playgroup/preschool. They have been playing with me recently at Little Sparrow making lovely wee rabbits. One confessed she is now making more, it makes me happy to be a part of someone giving a new craft a go and wanting to carry on.

So I headed home happy with a trolley and a heart full and I promise not to leave it so long again. :)

In the afternoon Husband and I headed to the city on the train, to visit the Craft Victoria Craft Hatch a little market held in the city library. I loved to see what people are making and to have a chat with a couple of the artists too. Then we went to the NGV to see the Top Arts VCE 2008 It is an inspiring show of some of the works completed by high school students studying art and studio art in Victoria last year. I will be taking my girls back to see it at least once before mid June when it closes. I am inspired by their amazing work and commitment to see their vision thru. I have to work hard to talk nice to myself while I look around as it is tempting to think 'why bother'. Self talk is something that I often have to work hard with. Years of training make it easy for me to tell I myself, I am not talented, to be ready for others to find out the truth about me, that I am a big fake, that the stories I tell are silly, I am not skilled enough, smart enough, pretty enough...... I know you know the stories that we tell ourselves because I know that I am not the only one. These days mostly I talk nice to myself and am gathering evidence that prove those thoughts wrong, but you know sometimes I slip, especially when it is that time of the month, or when I see someones work I admire, or when I put my heart on the table and overhear a negative comment. But mostly I remember that I have something unique to offer and that I have a place in this creative world.

Goodness I didn't know I was going to go there... but there you go confessions on a Sunday afternoon....

I hope you all had or are having a lovely weekend and remember to talk nice to yourself. :)